Influence People - Dale Carnegie - Book Summary

"How to win friends and influence people" is a book by Dale Carnegie.

The reason for me to read this book is, I have difficulty talking to people, coming up with topics to talk about, and keeping the conversation going.

I wouldn't have cared much about it, but the nature of my job demands that to some extent. Leading a team and building product, demads you to get out of my comfort zone and talk to people.

The book talks about the following points.

Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Convey your message in a way that the other person understand the reasoning behind it. When criticizing, the other person will be defensive and things might not go the way you hoped for. Don't nag.
Give honest and sincere appreciation. People love to be appreciated and complimented for their work.
Be interested in what others want. Ask questions, listen to them, and understand their perspective.
Smile :)
Remember the name of the people you are meeting or interacting with. It makes them feel important.
Be a good listener. Instead of talking about yourself, listen to what the other person has to say. Talk about their interests rather than yours. Make them feel important, sincerely.
Look for areas of agreement, than disagreement. Avoid arguments. If you are wrong, admit it, apologize, and move on.
When talking with people, don't start off with the things you differ on. Start with the things you agree on. Be friendly.
Let the other person feel that the idea is theirs.
Try to see things from other person's point of view. Dale Carenige states that even if this is the only value you take away from this book, this will change your life. Be empathetic and sympathetic.
How to get things done with people? Make sure the work is interesting, important, and challenging. Stimulate competition.
If you want to criticize/improve someone, begin with praise and honest appreciation. A good way to make people at ease is talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving orders. Its a slight difference in the way to deliver your message.
Even if you are right and the other person is definitely wrong, let them save face.
Everyone likes to be appreciated. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
If you want someone to improve, encourage them. Make them feel like whatever they are doing wrong/not doing, is easy to correct.

I had a hard time reading this book. The points mentioned in this book are solid and valid, no doubt about it. But they were told with too many examples to my liking. Nonetheless, a good read.